Each night, Malala and Django Bengal will bring the pain. Get ready for cuteness so heady, so violent, so metal, you'll need to step away from your monitor to attend to the eye-melting, brain-searing wounds caused by all that unfiltered 'aww'.
These are seriously metal kittens, people. You've been warned.
Named after a hardcore hero as metal as she is, Malala turns up the heat with feats of adorable hijinks that will Blow. Your. Mind. And your heart. Got a heart condition? Go back to the minor leagues.
When not driving her enemies before her with a single enchanting glance, Malala can be found batting plastic electronics packaging around or cuddling with extreme prejudice.
As spontaneous and wildly erratic as the jazz musician, Django lurks in the dark corners of his victim's soul, waiting for his chance to overpower his opponent with gruesome displays of unmitigated aww.
Django will awaken the nightmare within you and consume your soul but he prefers Friskies Chicken and Liver Pate.
Avert your eyes, initiate. You are not ready.
Take your average domesticated cat. Cute right? Now cross it with an Asian Leopard Cat (Prionailurus bengalensis). Throw in four generations of selective breeding to ensure your new live-in companion doesn't go all honey badger on you.
That's a Bengal. Basically a friendly, if precocious, mini-ocelot that lives in your home. Learn more
Not for the sensitive of faint of heart, this archive houses all of Django and Malala's most impressive feats of aww.
No censors. No filters. No way back. It's a one-way ticket and you won't come back the same.
Buckle up, pilgrim. It's a bumpy ride.
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From Roomba ridin' to mid-air acrobatics, each catpocalypse of cute will drop every morning, pummeling you awake with 'aww'some force. You're going to want to cut back on the caffeine.
Does your kitten have what it takes to prance in the pantheon of the greats? Is your cat a god emperor of cute in the making?
Share your photographs of hardcore cat-antics and she may just be featured here alongside the fearsome pair themselves.
Many are called. Few are chosen.